“This is the most important book on sexuality you will ever read.”
John Eldredge

New York Times bestselling author of Wild at Heart

“This book is what the church needs.”
Sheila Wray Gregoire

Author of The Great Sex Rescue

The Sex Talk You Never Got book cover

Your Sexuality is Worth a Better Conversation

Available June 11

The Sex Talk You Never Got

Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality

Men today are starved for sexual formation. They've been failed by parents, churches, and culture alike, leading to widespread shame, confusion, and brokenness in the area of sexuality. In The Sex Talk You Never Got, therapist Sam Jolman helps men reconnect their God-given sexuality with innocence, awe, and joy, and shows readers how to celebrate--instead of struggle against--the gift of sexual desire.

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In our sex-obsessed world, it might seem ironic that men need more talk about sex. But in reality sexuality is one of the most neglected aspects of men’s lives. Few of us got a sex talk that was anything close to adequate—maybe a basic anatomy lesson or purity lecture, if we got anything at all. Culture tells men that anything goes. And the church’s focus on purity, though well-intentioned, has often led men to a place of shame. The result is that many men experience sexual desire as an area of struggle, brokenness, and confusion.

It doesn’t need to be this way. In this biblically based, practical book, Sam Jolman—a licensed therapist who specializes in men’s issues and sexual trauma recovery—shows men the way out of the wilds of sexual struggle. This timely and incisive book helps men:

  • regain a vigorous and vibrant sexuality within the context of God's design,
  • understand how purity culture has needlessly put men in a conflict-ridden relationship with their sexuality
  • engage their own stories of sexual formation to discover and heal what has brought harm
  • confront porn use and lust through the lens of God’s kindness and find the true path to freedom
  • learn about the vital link between sexual desire and our identity as worshipers
  • trade shame and confusion for a sexuality of innocence and wonder

Whether you are married or single, The Sex Talk You Never Got will help you discover the joy of your God-given sexuality, and invites you to celebrate—rather than struggle against—the gift of sexual desire.

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Sam Jolman

Meet the author

Sam Jolman

Sam Jolman (MA LPC) is a trauma therapist with over twenty years of experience specializing in men’s issues and sexual trauma recovery. He seeks to help men and women heal, and know their stories, and find greater sexual wholeness and aliveness. He received his master’s in counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary and was further trained in Narrative Focused Trauma Care through the Allender Center at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology.

Sam lives in Colorado with his wife and three sons. Together they enjoy exploring the best camping spots in Colorado in a pop-up camper. Sam goes to therapy, loves fly fishing, and can often be found trying to catch his breath on the floor of his local CrossFit gym.